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(FULL PDF) Point Blank Vol 1 - Sword Saint's Haven by cup-drop (FULL PDF) Point Blank Vol 1 - Sword Saint's Haven by cup-drop

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Espers, humans who have the ability to control the ubiquitous phenomenon known as "mana." Mana is an unknown entity found everywhere and inside every living creature. Controlling mana grants espers access to unbelievable powers, normal people can only dream of.

At a certain university district, located at the heart of the city of Los Santos, southern USA. Yeng Renhua is an aloof and seemingly unapproachable girl, but underneath her pretty face, a dark ugly secret looms. Two years ago, she was regarded as one of the most prolific killer espers in the crime world. A victim of circumstance, she had no choice but to commit killings as a child assassin in order to survive. Eventually, she was no longer able to stomach the life of murder and chose to leave it all behind. Now she's on the run from her former benefactors, the Jiang crime syndicate.

Now, the ghosts of Renhua's violent past has come back to haunt her, but thanks to a strange twist of fate, she's found help from the unlikeliest of people. Hunter Clemens; a timid and seemingly unreliable 18-year-old engineering senior at her university, an all-around "normal" kid.

DISCLAIMER AND WARNING!! (PLEASE READ!!)
The story you are about to read is a work of fiction. It does not reflect my views, values and opinions, nor does it reflect the views, values and opinions of the widely diverse peoples of Asia.

If you're some kind of PC libertarian who gets offended every five minutes, then I don't recommend you reading this. You might die of hypertension or something. The story gets really offending, specially on the latter part. Like, REALLY friggin' offending.

*EDIT ver 1.01
Just corrected some stupid punctuation errors and minor grammatical corrections. If you're not the type to get triggered (I can't believe I just used that pretentious PC term) over some glaring punctuation errors, then it's not really much of a big deal. This is practically a one-woman job, so there are still a lot of punctuation errors left, and I would appreciate if anyone can point that out to me.

*EDIT ver 1.02
Yeah, there are a LOT of critical errors that I fixed in this edit, like stuff that wouldn't make sense if left unchanged in chapter 3 and onwards. If you're interested in reading this and already downloaded the PDF, I implore you to please re-download. Seriously, some of the sentences there won't make sense if you don't.

I'm having trouble in keeping my github in check, a repository site where I upload my LaTex codes. It's not very user friendly, specially for non-programers like myself, and these branches keep screwing my codes, it's frustrating. Using LaTex doesn't help either, it's making editing a few mistakes a lot harder than how it normally should. I'm never gonna code my PDFs again...

BTW special thanks to SG27889 :iconsg27889: for pointing out a lot of the errors. It really helped me out, thank you so much, bro! There are still a lot of errors left, but most of them are very minor. But, I would update this from time to time.
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:iconlinlin-senpai:
LinLin-Senpai Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
straight up cover album material
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:icondannyphoenix0013:
DannyPhoenix0013 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
First off, let me apologize for taking a million years to finally read this lol (Holy shit it's literally been almost a month T_T)
College was a bit more time consuming then I was expecting, but I started reading a chapter every night before I slept hahaha.
I read every single page!  Which is a lot coming from me.  I haven't read any books that weren't school related in years.

But I really, honestly enjoyed this a lot.  It had issues (mainly the typos that you are already aware of), the biggest thing that I feel like getting out of the way first, is that the Epilogue seems too important to only be an epilogue.  I know some people will simply skip preludes/prologues/epilogues just because they assume they aren't anything important, but your Epilogue seems like a huge set up of things to come and I can't help but feel it should be considered an actual chapter (then again, I have no idea what will happen next haha)

That was really all I can say I found wrong with it (I would have loved more art...but I always love more art xP)
So lets talk about the positives.  The characters were all fantastic.  I found myself liking just about every one we met, aside from the people we were clearly supposed to hate.  Renhua and Hunter are extremely fun and likable characters.  They're even relatable despite their backstories.  So really you did great on them.  A very believable relationship too, though I'm totally a sucker for tusnderes so I would have loved that anyways haha

Battles were another thing that I was impressed by.  Even manga fights can be hard to follow but your descriptions were fantastic and I always had a really strong mental image of what ever was going on.  The pacing was well done, and I enjoyed the unorthodox way you constantly switched view point characters.  I know some people might find that confusing, but I always appreciate getting to see how characters think.  Plus that was a really great way of showing off the main characters skills and abilities without them oddly explaining to themselves or others what they were doing.

Now this is somewhat unrelated, but holy hell, are we writing gender switched versions of the same story?  Lmfao no wonder you like my stuff, they are so oddly similar! (more then you even know hahaha.  Just wait for what happens in chapter 3 xP)

Long story short, it was a great read, and I can't wait to read more.  The story was unique, the characters were well written, and I really cared for what would happen to them.  You've got a real talent here 
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for reading, bro and thank you so much for the feedback, i always appreciate them...

yeah, those typos, some of them were my fault but some is because of my lack of mastery of git repositories... srsly, i write the codes, commit changes, merge them, and when i view the codes in my repository it messes up my narrative... i'm not gonna code the next volume, i only used LaTeX because you can easily change the page setup for the images and uniform them...

and the prologue and epilogue are super important parts of the story, so idk why you think it's okay to skip them LOL, and they are considered as chapters, they're just named differently because they're disjointed from the rest of the story... example the prologue -> CH 1, the prologue was super serious in tone where Renhua's character as a cold-blooded murderer was set, with the narrative written like someone was watching and is simply narrating what was happening, as opposed to the rest of the story (except the epilogue) where the narrative style was in a first-person perspective and when we jumped from prologue into CH 1, the tone turned a complete 180 to a more school ground romantic comedy type of crap

you know, i was seriously considering in making this one a comic series, but i don't think i can convey a first person narrative very well with a comic... if that was the case, there would be very large text thought bubbles and the characters would be thinking so much, that it probably won't work...

and lol, Renhua's similar to Dustyn, but there's no way Hunter is like Petal, Hunter is a kid that is anything but bubbly... I think Petal's more like Francheska, i really do love Francheska though, she was supposed to be the main heroine, but at that point, i was in my tomboy cool girl waifu phase, hahahahaha... and if you like Hunter, ooooooh boy!! volume 2's gonna test that, after all, unless you're a child actor, you don't get rich at that age for being a Mr. Goody-two-shoes all the time
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:icondannyphoenix0013:
DannyPhoenix0013 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem!  I'm being 100% honest here to, you can rest assured that if I got bored, I wouldn't have finished it haha.  It really was captivating

Oh, I totally understand Epilogues and Prologues being important.  I'm saying I know that some people just skip anything that isn't explicitly called a chapter.  Though maybe that applies to younger people?  Idk lol

One thing that I've learned from creating comics, is that you really tell a different story than if you were writing a novel.  It takes practice to decide how to pace each page and frame them without using a crap ton of text.  Believe me, the first comic I made had so many words haha.
But once you get the hang out it you kinda learn tricks to use less words and the let story flow more organically.  I'm sure you wouldn't have to much trouble but I think the format here worked just fine.  Like i said, you'd pry have to change a lot if it was a comic (like it would be twice as long for one thing hahaha unless you just ignored a consistent page to chapter ratio)

I'm at the advantage here when it comes to comparing our characters hahaha.  2 chapters of my comic wont exactly tell you as much as the 8 chapters+ and background information in your story!
....Trying to phrase this in a way that wont make certain twists seem to obvious lol.....
I think that me comparing Dustyn to Renhua, and Petal to Hunter, has more to do with their roles in the story.  Because the four of them are extremely different haha, but what they offer their significant other is similar? I think lol
(Chapter 4 of my comic may start to make things clear...March isn't to long of a wait I hope hahahaha)

Hunter reminds me of like a respectable Light Yagami in some ways hahahaha.  I loved his powers and what they were capable of though I'm totally aware of how dark they are in practice.  But now I'm even more intrigued for volume 2

And lastly, I'm hoping you are smarter than me, and that your ending is nothing like the one I'm building towards hahahaha
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, i know that you can show emotions through the character's face and their actions through drawing, but how do you translate expositions to a comic without a ton of text? plus, i think novels work best at conveying first person accounts and the difference of their perspectives... but there are these things called graphic novels that DC really likes to make, maybe i'll try doing that in my next project

oh, i thought you were comparing them as characters because i'm trying to build a character piece, i know that i'm not very good at building a plot, so instead i'm building characters that are interesting and complex enough that they'll fit whatever i throw at them... if you scrutinize the vol. 1 of my story, you can probably summarize it in two to three paragraphs, but the plot isn't very interesting, right? so i focused on the characters, you could say that i've put more importance to character building more than the plot... i haven't really watched death note though, it's probably really dark, i don't like dark stories... my story is kinda dark but it has mostly light-hearted moments, like the awkward flirting and stuff, right?

LOL, i've already have like three endings in mind... i won't spoil it but one of the endings is really dark, that would either make you say "holy shit!! Hunter's fucking awesome" or you'll really fucking hate him, and i find the need to swear just to indicate the gravity of how much you'd either love or hate him, just like Michael Corleone in the godfather series... but i still don't know if i'd go with that ending, after all, Hunter isn't the protagonist of the story, Renhua is...
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:icondannyphoenix0013:
DannyPhoenix0013 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah exposition becomes a whole nother beast once you try to use it in a comic format.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I do think you made the right call with this being a novel.  Like I said to,  you're descriptions are really kick ass and I can't help but feel that the writing wouldn't be as strong without them.  (I don't mean to be rude by that, it's just that the descriptions you write are really enthralling haha)

I wouldn't say your plot isn't interesting!  I found it very interesting.  The characters are great, yeah, but don't pretend like the story isn't at all engaging.  I mean, it's not the deepest most unique thing ever written, but at least I was interested in the characters pasts and seeing how they've grown and changed through what happened in their lives.  It was entertaining and the character moments may be the highlight, but if the story wasn't just as good I may have gotten bored.
Death Note is totally not dark.  It's a bad series though in my opinion lmfao, I fucking hate it.  Over hyped garbage if you ask me xP
I only made the comparison because it came to mind.

Yes, please don't spoil me hahahaha.  As long as it's executed well, I'm sure you can make a satisfying conclusion.  Just don't go to dark on the characters lol, they are to lovable xP
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
lol, death note was crazy popular though and it had like 2 live action movies, right? i remember every kid who watched anime in highschool was going nuts about it, we even had a young teacher fresh out of college back then in biology who thinks that she's still "one of the kids" never shutting up about it, but the story's premise was too dark for me so i never watched it

hahaha don't worry bro, no spoilers here, and like i said, probably not gonna use that ending
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:icondannyphoenix0013:
DannyPhoenix0013 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
3 movies actually lmfao.  And a fourth is coming out xP
The reason I'm not fond of death note, is because I find it to be a worse version of a manga called Akumetsu.  
You don't like dark stuff, so I wouldn't look into it, but Akumetsu makes Death Note look like a fairy tail lmao. 
The hero is actually extremely likable though unlike Light who is just an ass hole haha
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:iconlallibear:
lallibear Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Noice! I'll read ^^
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:iconmario101luigi202:
Mario101Luigi202 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
This seems awesome!
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
you gotta wait for it to finish downloading, bro... it's like only 12MB, it should finish downloading after 30 seconds or so
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:iconacu4883:
Acu4883 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2017
Great job.
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:icondannyphoenix0013:
DannyPhoenix0013 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is perfect!  Just got back home tonight.  Will pry stay up reading this or read it tmrw xP
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
nice to see that you're back, bro
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:icondannyphoenix0013:
DannyPhoenix0013 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's nice to be back! I'm looking so forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight hahahaha
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:iconsg27889:
SG27889 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist
OOOOOOOHH!!!! SOOOOOOO AWESOME, CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT!!!!
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:iconmitternachtangel:
MitternachtAngel Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017   Digital Artist
Right on time loving it so much awesome Awesomeness
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
hehehe thanks bro =^=
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:iconmitternachtangel:
MitternachtAngel Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2017   Digital Artist
Yeah 
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:iconosmenn:
Osmenn Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Your timing could not have been better! Was debating if I should read this on my laptop in chunks, but now I can read it whenever as a PDF on my iPod!! I'm looking forward to this after reading the prologue stuff.
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:iconcup-drop:
cup-drop Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
thanks bro :D
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cup-drop Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
i shall continue to violate it as i see fit
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cup-drop Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
too late, bro... i already violated it
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